Do you have a funny boot camp (or basic training) story to share?

I really could use a good laugh and smile.

Any funny drill instructor/sergeant quotes or boot camp military stories?

I’d love to hear some funny military stories, basic stories, drill instructor quotes etc. Laughter is the best medicine during difficult times.
The http://usmilitary.about.com/od/militaryh…
ones I had read. I agree very funny!
Why did the di say "You try that trash again and i swear to god ill climb up the side of the chowhall like freakin spiderman , jump off and put my boot through your face you understand me? REPLY FREAK!!!"

What did the recruit do?
Any more? I am sending funny stories quotes etc to a loved one.

Camp stories?

Im going to be a councler for a week for a group of sixth graders and am looking for some funny camp stories to tell them. it will be all girls and must be appropriate for a group of sixth graders!

Do you like the story I wrote?

I live in a small town on the southwest coast of England. As far back as I can remember, the town’s old people have talked about supernatural activity – the old lady who runs the general store, my grandparents, the fishermen – everyone over the age of about 50 or so. They’ve seen ghosts, werewolves and UFOs, but my parents and the other younger generations seem to be a bit more skeptical about it.

It was 2006, and I’d just turned 16. There isn’t much to do around where I live, so a few friends and I decided to hike to the top of a nearby hill (where witches were apparently burnt, once upon a time) and camp there for the night. This hill has always been a site for supernaturalists, and so there’s a tourist information hut that only opens after dark, as well as a row of toilets.

We camped up in the late afternoon and cooked sausages over a bonfire. There were six of us – me, two guys, my two best girl friends and my boyfriend. Just before seven, we saw Jeff (I live in the kind of place where you know everybody’s name) going into the tourist information office. He waved and we waved back, and he told us to come and see him if we needed anything – he’d be in the office all night.

We’ve been creeped out by rustlings and such when we’ve gone camping before, so the six of us were all in one massive tent, the girls sandwiched between the guys. After a lot of giggling and talking, we all fell asleep at about 11. I know it was then because I made my boyfriend set an alarm for the following morning, and I saw the time.

I woke in the early morning (about two or so), really desperate for a pee. The whole hill and surrounding countryside was pitch black, which was odd because it never really gets dark that high up. Anyway, I went to the toilet block and pulled on the door of the ladies, which was locked. That was strange, too; Jeff knew we’d be there and had always left it open in the past. (I know because my friend Tammy has camped there before, and she tells a very funny story about the really bad locks on the toilet doors.)

I went across the grass to the tourist info office, looking for Jeff. I tapped on the glass and it was slid back, but the person in the hut was a skinny guy, about 20. His hair was stringy and shoulder length.

"Where’s Jeff?" I asked, and the guy explained that he’d received a call on his cell phone, which meant he’d had to go home immediately. That was when I really started to think. Jeff doesn’t have a cell phone, and whenever he sees me on mine, he warns me that it’ll rot my brain.

I tried to make small talk for a few minutes, when all the while I had started shaking really hard. The guy seemed very interested in me; in fact, it was almost like he was flirting. I was starting to think that my fears had been stupid when I looked up and right into his eyes. I had to stop myself screaming. They were black — pitch black with no whites and no pupil.

I tried to move away from the window then, tried to back away, but my legs wouldn’t budge. Finally, feeling really stupid, I began to say all this stuff in my head, the way you do when you can’t do anything else. I began to count from 10 and hope I could move, to sing and hope I could move, and all the while this creepy guy was slowly moving away from the window and out of the hut!

Finally, for want of anything else, I said the Lord’s Prayer in my head. As I did so, my legs became unstuck, and I started blabiling all the psalms and prayers I could remember. The guy just seemed to… fade, I guess. Back into the darkness.

I don’t know what I saw on that hill, but you know what? Jeff doesn’t even remember going up the hill, let alone talking to us. So who was it who had waved at us earlier? Whatever the truth, I am never going up the witch hill again, night or day.

Funny and scary stories to tell at camp?

I’m going to camp, and I’d like come stories to tell. They don’t have to be related to camp or any specific topic, but any funny joke, or scary story will do!

Please and thank you <3

10 points to the best answer!

I need a super scary ghost story for my camping trip…?

I Need a *super* scary ghost story for this weekend’s camping trip. I want a good one that I could tell around a camp fire. It can be a true story or something made up. Nothing funny, something that would make my friends pee their pants. preferably long. I’ve heard a lot of ghost stories in my life, Anything new?

Do you have a great BOOT CAMP story?

I have been sharing my Boot Camp stories and it made me want to find out about what others experience while there. I am really just looking for the funny stories, but any would be great. Please don’t hold back. Thank you.

I don't understand this story?

Read this story:

King Arthur sends Sir Lancelot out on an important mission to deliver a message to the king of Spain. It is a long distance, and Lancelot looks in the Kingdom for a good horse to take him there. His own horse is sick, and all he can find is an old mare, but, since he has to leave quickly, he takes the mare.

About 3 days out of the Kingdom, Lancelot realizes his mistake. The horse gets tired and appears to be going lame. He finally makes it to a small village and gets to the Inn. He goes up to the Innkeeper and explains his problem. That is, he needs a good horse so that he can fulfill his mission to deliver the message for the king. The Innkeeper replies that this is only a small village, and most of the horses around are not up to the task. He is welcome to look around, however, and if he can find anything, he is certainly welcome to it.

Lancelot looks around the village, and true as the Innkeeper has said, no good horse is to be found. As Lancelot is about to give up, he comes across a stable boy carting some feed. He asks the stable boy if there is any beast of burden in the village that he can use to fulfill his mission. The stable boy thinks for a minute, and starts to reply no, but then says, go see if Old Mange in the barn can help you.

Lancelot goes over to the barn expecting to find a horse. What he finds is a very large dog: almost as large as a pony. The dog is a mess, however. It is mangy, parts of its fur are falling off, and it is full of fleas. Lancelot is desperate at this point, and he looks it over carefully. It does, however, appear to be strong enough to take him to Spain (which is only 3 days away at this point).

Lancelot goes back to the Innkeeper, and acknowledges that he cannot find a horse in the village that he can use. He says, however that this dog, Old Mange, might be able to take him most (if not all) of the way to his destination. The Innkeeper hears this, stiffens up, and says : Sir. I wouldn’t send a Knight out on a dog like that.

It’s supposd to be a funny story, for like summer camp and young kids and stuff, but I don’t get the joke at the end? Am I just being really dumb? Do you guys get it?
Oh sorry if this is the wrong section too! >.<

do you think this story is funny?

alright one day me and my grandma and alot of my family decided to go on a camping trip right and the next day we decided to go down to the river to go fish and we were walking down the hill then we reach this big log and my grandma try to step over it and she did but she got her leg got and started rolling down the hill hella fast and she had hella leafs in her hair from the bushes and she didnt stop rolling tell she got close to the water

Are up for a funny story? If so READ on.?

~ Deer Camp ~

The guys were all at a deer camp. No one wanted to room with Bob, because he snored so badly.

They decided it wasn’t fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take
turns.

The first guy slept with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his
eyes all bloodshot.

They said, ‘Man, what happened to you?

He said, ‘Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night. ‘ The next night it was a
different guy’s turn. In the morning, same thing – hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.

They said, ‘Man, what happened to you? You look awful!’ He said, ‘Man, that Bob shakes the roof
with his snoring. I watched him all night .’ The third night was Pete’s turn. Pete was a big burly
ex-Navy man; a man’s man.

The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. ‘ Good morning,’ he said.
They couldn’t believe it!

They said, ‘Man, what happened?’ He said, ‘Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Bob
into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night.

Bob sat up and watched me all night.
To gran Torino, I seved in the Marines so don’t need to consider it.

Why You Should Purchase Double Sleeping Bags

Double sleeping bags is solution favoured by many campers, including couples and families who may prefer to share their sleeping bag.

Commonly, a double sleeping bag weighs less and uses far less space than the equivalent two single sleeping bags. This creates a clear advantage for couples and families who want to save on the overall weight and size of their camping equipment. Another advantage of choosing a double sleeping bag is the money saved, a double sleeping bag will usually cost much less than two comparable spec’d single sleeping bags.

Many readers might be hesitant about purchasing a double sleeping bag because they do not wish to wake up their other camper when getting in or leaving the double sleeping bag, this is untrue as all double sleeping bags have two zips at either side so this is not an issue.

Using a double sleeping bag can be an ideal solution to staying comfy, people who feel the cold weather usually feel a lot snugger sleeping next to another camper in a double sleeping bag as their bodies will warm the air inside the bag faster. Double sleeping bags will make partners feel like they are using their homes double bed while camping, giving a new and homely camping adventure. Some younger campers are anxious of sleeping on their own when outdoors, even more so if they are first time campers, a double sleeping bag is therefore ideal for such a child because they be able to appreciate the comfort of lying beside a parent and be less scared about camping outside.

Many people however like to use the double sleeping bag by themselves as the confinement of a 1 person sleeping bag makes it hard for them to get to sleep. This is easily the perfect answer providing that size and weight of the sleeping bag aren’t factors which concern the family.

If you are a wider user a double sleeping bag might therefore be the perfect sleeping solution. Another great aspect of the double sleeping bag is the double zippers, this allows the double sleeping bag to opened in full like a blanket, this is perfect if it is hot or for use indoors or when caravanning.

The double sleeping bag is not perfect for every camper, but for partners and family campers it is the perfect choice for a comfortable nights sleep.

POLL:::: tell me a funny story plz any thing funny i need to laugh?

ummmm my BFF’s cousin was at the state park and we were all there and we are rlly deep in th woods and there is horse trails everywhere and so we ride horses all day and night and it rocked. well any way i was rlly sore after that night. and the drunk cousin was sleeping and one of the horses escaped and was walking around the camp and she went out to go get it and she fell over cuz she was drunck and the horse stepped on her foot. so she had a huge bruise of a horse shoe on her foot. lol It was rlly funny and it was her own horse that stepped on her lol

Fun/Funny things to do when Camping?

Does anyone know any fun or funny things to do while camping? I’m gonna need some because I can’t think of any and I’m writing a fanfic that includes camping, (Death Note Camping!, check it out…) and need to find some ideas. If you want to check out the story, or first story related to it, then my fanfiction account is NearTheEnd. Nyeh, mmkay, back to the question. Um….yeah!

what are some of your funny boot camp stories?

i leave in a few months so i dont have any.

ive read a few like a guy who posted My senior drill instuctor would place a stick of gum on his squad bay desk at lights out and scream "This had better be here come morning" sure enough every morning it was gone. This would cause all of us to wonder ho the scumbad was that kept stealing it during the night and we would all have to do 40 pushups and situps followed by mountain climbers before we even got a chance to make a head call. it was not until one night while i was on "Fire Watch" where i spotted my own drill instuctor sneaking into the squad bay and taking the stick of hum himself. Now thats what i call a game.

i thought that one was a pretty good one but whats yours?

thx

Do you think this story is funny?

My friends and I made up this story at camp: There were five "norks" (nerds and dorks). thier names were Emma, Aeli,JoAnna,Mkayla, and Mitchell. All of them were in orchestra at thier school. Once orchestra began, they played their instruments and somehow got transported to an underground prison in Antarctica.One of the security guards, which was a polar bear, asked them why they were here."I don’t know why, ask my boyfriend, Mitchell!" Says Emma."Wellactually, I think the clocks were turned back at our school, so we’ve been teletransported to a parallel Outer-universe!I don’t really know." OK, Aeli, do you know? "Meow!"(Aeli was a cat freak).Mkayla? "ROAR!!!i WANT TO EAT YOU!!!" (Mkayla was half dinosaur)Dont eat me, I’m Endangered!said the polar bear.Now you JoAnna."Peanut-Butter-….BOB! HAHAHAHAHA!!! (joanna was mindless).They had know way to get out ,so mitchell read out of his dictionary (volume 5.4 to be exact).Even though Emma yelled at him for reading a book with a leather cover,becauseEmma worships cows and leather kills cows.They had no option, but to either eat through the rock or snow, or to smash their way out with their instruments. So they did both and turned into polar bears after eating all that snow.The End. I know, its pretty………….dumb! haha!