The wildest story you can make up?
Posted: March 24th, 2011 | Author: Mitch | Filed under: Camping General | Tags: better than fiction, stretched truth, thanks in advance | 4 Comments »This story can be completely insane, and unrealistic, funny, made up, the truth (often better than fiction) or stretched truth. The only condition is that it could have *possibly* happened and is camping/outdoors related. 10pts for the craziest or best story. Thanks in advance
Santa came into my tent drunk. He wore a lacey bra and a thong.
"All right, lass?" he slurred, his fat rolls rolling everywhere. He held his arms up above his head and let the stench flow from him. It wafted up my nose making me gag.
I turned the torch on and saw shadows outside. Ninjas hijacked my tent and wrapped up santa in his own sack.
They started to feel him up and bounce on his belly. Rudolph came gliding in, sweeping up santa and shaking the ninjas off him.
The end.
In "Lumberjacked," five sorority sisters go on a camping trip on West Virginia’s third highest mountain. Instead of telling ghost stories around the campfire, they tell personal versions of the so-called "Aristocrats joke." That is until the crazed axe-weilding lumberjacks show up…
a girl’s mom and dad die in a freak accident- they went to a zoo and were pushed into the lions cage. the girl goes threw a depresion and lives with an evil aunt who barley even feeds her. she drops out of school to work at a nearby gass station until a man finds her oneday after she runs away. he sees her bedraggled and hungry and he feels sorry for her. he takes her home and he feeds her and lets her stay there.he has a wife who likes the girl too and embraces her with open arms. he falls in love with her but is in denial. soon his wife finds her one day kissing the girl and kicks the girl out. the girl dies from hunger.
1. Arrive at river bank for a week of canoeing and camping on the sand bars.
2. Drop canoe on sharp rock and the canoe cracks – but you don’t realize it.
3. Start packing canoe with supplies – you realize you forgot to put the bag of your clothes in the truck.
4. You and your friend board the canoe and he, being a novice, falls out, splashing you in return.
5. Your journey starts – the river is up and there are no sand bars to camp on. – you have to tie the canoe to a tree limb and sleep in the canoe. The banks are too high to get to a spot to camp.
6. 2 a.m. a snake falls in the boat and you pee on yourself with no clothes to change into – you rinse in the river and a fish grabs your underwear.
7. You wrap yourself in your friend’s shirt.
8. at 6 a.m. the journey begins again – 2 hours later you come to rapids that shouldn’t be there and you capsize – now neither of you have clothes are suppplies.
9. You have to continue on because you lost the paddles.
10. the canoe springs a leak
11. you pray for help
good luck