Do you have a funny boot camp/basic training story to share?
Posted: March 1st, 2011 | Author: Mitch | Filed under: Camping General | Tags: homo, zell | 8 Comments »The angry closet homo is back. I’d feel sorry for you zell but you’d have to be human first.
i bet no story is as funny as all the guys butt .f.u.c.k.i.ng your little queer .a.s.s in the showers
Prior to Basic Training, I had become friends with another female, Sheila, at Reception Station and we planned to be Battle Buddies. Unfortunately, she and I went to different training companies. One Sunday, my company had the day off, but hers only had “free time.” I went to her barracks to see her, and another friend helped to sneak me upstairs. When it came time for me to leave, their platoon sergeant (“Dr Death”) had come into the barracks, so 4-5 other females bunched around me so I could walk out undetected. A few weeks later, our companies were in the Dining Facility at the same time for lunch. My company had the rest of the day off, so we didn’t have a formation. I wandered over to her company’s formation, and talked to Sheila and some other friends. When it came time to form up and march back, one of them convinced me to march back with them; she said they would be released after they got back. Yes, I am that stupid; and unlucky, as it turned out. Instead of being released, the Company Commander talked to them for several minutes, which gave Dr Death (not an affectionate nickname, but the way) time to notice an extra Soldier in his formation. He called me to the back, asked me which unit I was in, and then told me to drop. For an instant, I almost asked how many push-ups he wanted me to do, but my stupidity apparently was not endless after all, and I kept my mouth shut. My luck also returned to me, because I did only 36 push-ups before he told me to get up. I don’t know if he contacted my own company, because I didn’t get smoked a second time; maybe they just had a big laugh about it.
Boot Camp -
Me and my friend lucie (every one called her blue) were walking down the sidewalk to the mess hall, when we saw Sergent Mick so we ducked behind a bush. He walked down the side walk, right into a giant spiderweb. He screamed like a little girl. He took off his belt to kill the spider on the ground that fell (don’t ask me why he got his belt when he had shoes on) and started hitting the ground. His pants fell and he had on care bear boxers with "I love you" on the back. I pulled out my phone and started taking pictures and lucie started video taping. We posted it on the camp website. He got called into the captains office, and they left the door cracked so lucie recorded there conversation. "You do realize that u dropped your pants in front of two 14 year old girls right Sergent? "Yes sir" "You do realize you will have to burn those boxers now right Sergent?" "Sir?" "BURN THEM GODDAMMIT! WE KNOW UR GAY BUT REALLY!" "Sir, i’m not gay and those boxers were a gift from my girlfriend for valentines day." "WHAT THE HELL WAS SHE THINKING THEN?" "She thought i was gay?" "WHAT? WHY?" "Cause she saw me fucking your wife and thought it was a man." Then Sergent walked out. We posted it on the camp website. Best day of my LIFE.
During my Infantry training, My DS came up to the platoon FURIOUS! He came in screaming at us to get down and do push ups and mountain climbers and flutter kicks and he then pulled out a tissue. He asked us, "who?" "Who was it that ate this f***in muffin?" All of us confused not knowing what he was talking about, he just went on and on smoking us like crazy. After about 2 hours of getting smoked, he then leaves the barracks and goes to his office. He lets out a huge laugh in his office. A few minutes later walks out with his muffin in his hand, a huge smile on his face and says, "carry on!"
Just my luckk lol
some girl beat me up and busted my lip
I joined the Air Force many years ago. During Basic Training I was in charge of laundry. Well one day while washing all the white towels our drill instructor came and got me. I had to put the wet towels in the duffel bags and dry them later. The idiot with me decided to out his shoe shining kit in the bag without telling me. Needless to say when I came back and throw them in the dryer I didn’t catch the kit and all the towels came out black spotted. I had to tell the whole squad and we all pulled our money together and snuck out to the PX (store) and bought new ones.
when i started basic T the DI’s told us that we might have issues as far as "going to the bathroom" – could be one way or the other. This one girl kept complaining that she couldn’t go. After two weeks she finally went and she locked the door to the stall because it was massive and wouldn’t go down. Finally they made her clean up her mess. It took an hour to break that Lock Ness monster up enough to flush.
kinda nasty but it was funny at the time. ran a lot of ppl out of there for sure.
Drill Sgt: PRIVATE NUNN, ITS A GOOD THING YOU CAN SHOOT
Me: Why’s that Drill Sergeant
Drill Sgt: CAUSE YOU SURE AS HELL CANT RUN
Drill Sgt: By a show of hands who wants to go to Airborne School…not so fast Private Nunn…there isn’t a parachute on this planet that can hold your fat ass up.
Me: "Sigh"
Captain: Hey 1sg, why the hell are all the privates just sitting around
1sg: Hey Sir, how’s your wife and my kids?
Captain: 1sg, come see me in my office.
"Snickers"
1sg: Everyone do pushups till I get back.
Cadre: You will complete the written radio message, wait for a response and then you will dis-assemble the radio.
My battle buddy: Echo 6 this is Echo 1, Radio Check, Over.
Cadre: Echo 1 this is Echo 6, I read you loud and clear over.
My battle buddy: Echo 6 this is Echo 1, roger, can I get fries with that
Drill Sergeant: Echo 1 this is Echo 7, you and your battle buddy meet me outside with a full canteen in 30 seconds.
My battle buddy: Yes Drill Sergent.
Drill Sergeant: Try again
My battle buddy: Echo 7 this is Echo 1, roger, out.
Drill Sergeant: You don’t out me, I out you.
Not basic training but I was doing night land nav for EIB. It was only 3 points and the start and finish were on a road. I only had to get 2 out of 3. So I walked to my first point. Used 3 rocks, and triangulated my last point. I had 4 hours till the end and didn’t want to be the first back to clean up. I was walking and hears a "psssst" from the wood line. I jumped out of my skin. "who’s there". It was my buddy Andy. I was like, are you done too. He said, I haven’t even started. I got 3 months left in this mans Army and I felt like taking a nap under this bush. I found a spot and passed out. Woke up a few hours later and failed land nave cause I was 10 min late coming in. I passed the next night.
Lastly, some of the guys broke into DS’s office and too a picture wearing his Round Brown hat. A few weeks later we came in to the barracks find a picture of our DS wearing his DS’s hat from back when he was in Basic training. It was nice to know that they had a sense of humor. How did he know?!?!